Blah Blah Blah, This too shall pass……….

 I can’t really explain it but I just don’t feel well.  I slept like a rock last night and when I first woke up I thought I was better.  A nurse came in and shut off the oxygen and said we are going to try going without it and see how I do.  Brian came in and helped me get cleaned up and dressed in a new gown and by the time we were done with that I was exhausted.  It has been about an hour since then and I am finding it hard to catch my breath again but I am determined to wait and see if it gets better.  When the nurse comes to check on me I will ask her to check my oxygen level and see if that is why I am out of breath.  It could also be because I have been sitting around all week not allowed to move for fear the clots will break apart and travel to my heart or brain.  Everyone keeps asking if I am bored but so far I am not.  To me the days have been flying by.  I am actually shocked that it is Thursday already.  I have been here for 4 days already!  I have never been in the hospital this long in my life.  I have been knitting a lot, watching Investigation Discovery channel constantly  and have had a lot of visitors up until today.  Of course I understand that they can only take so much time off from work but it’s still a bit lonely here by myself and the fact that I feel so crummy seems to magnify that.  If I had to try and describe it, I feel like you do at the beginning of a bad cold or the flu, hot then cold over and over, breathless (apparently my oxygen level is ok so IDK why I am still breathless), and just bone tired.  So tired that I feel I could sleep for a week and maybe still not feel rested.  I haven’t been hungry since I got here except for butterfinger candy bars and prunes.  I haven’t had a craving for candy of any type for over 2 years and suddenly since I have been here in the hospital I started craving those candy bars and really only that kind, it has to be butterfinger.  Honestly I haven’t eaten as many of these as I have this week since I was pregnant with Sam.  I swear that baby was made of butterfinger candy bars!  I am whiny and feeling sorry for myself today. Hopefully the doctor will have good news for me today and tell me I can go home tomorrow as planned.  I miss my bed, my family, my dog and my baby cat Savannah and my whirlpool tub!  OMG I just remembered that I have that at home waiting for me and I think its been long enough since my surgery so I could go in it when I get home.   Awww just now the Brahms lullaby came on the hospital speaker system.  They play that every time a baby is born.  So far I have heard that about 10 times this week but every time it makes me feel choked up remembering my babies.  Well I am going back to knitting and Investigation Discovery, TTYL and hopefully the next time you hear from me I will be home!


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